Self acceptance – A Care Leaver

From our earliest memories, many of us felt like we never belonged. The stark reality as a child living in the Care System is – quite often we really didn’t belong. 

Deep down, we believed that if we really let others get to know us, they would reject us. We had enough evidence as abused children to believe this to be true. 

Many of us hid the pain of our alienation with an attitude of defiance. In effect, we told the world, “You don’t need me? Well, I don’t need any of you, either”. The higher our insecurities and anxiety built –  the higher the walls we built around ourselves.

Those walls begin to fall when we start finding acceptance from our past. The slow, painful process of self forgiveness, and of forgiveness of others, often our abusers. With this acceptance, we begin to learn the important principle of self-acceptance. And when we start to accept ourselves, we can allow others to take part in our lives without fear of rejection.

Finding self acceptance was a beautiful moment in my life. 

Much love Jenny – Aka Hackney Child 




2 thoughts on “Self acceptance – A Care Leaver

  1. Thanks so much for your thought provoking blog. Feeling like you belong and being happy in your own skin/ with who you are is so important to everyone yet it doesnt seem there is much open discussion about this in social work practice. Seems like its treated as a difficult hazy subject that is often avoided. I will definitely promote your blog to provoke action hopefully.
    Have you got ideas for how social workers/carers can help children on journey to self acceptance?

    1. Hi Emma

      Thank you very much for your response. I have many many ideas!!! These come from my own experience having been brought up in the system. One of my favourites is around exploring feelings, pointing these towards painful situations, and coming to a conclusion of where ownership of those incidents and associated feelings belong – generally not with them (abuser, system etc). This really helps with the heavy and painful feelings of shame and guilt – we carry too much blame for stuff which isn’t ours. I also do a lot of affirmation – and like my young people to write affirmation lists at the end of my sessions. Love love love this!!

      Its been a rocky road – but like is pure beautiful now!!

      Have you read Hackneychild? Its my true story – no pressure there 🙂

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